Its hard to leave a herd behind for multiple reasons - there are 2 specific ones that are giving me fits. I love some of them, like pets. Additionally, I spent a LOT of time with it.
Yet, I got where I wanted to get. I built a goat 10x better than the goats I started with. I did it fast, in less generations than most people could. Really, that was the entire point.
There are very few places left to go with it. I tried to talk myself into "I must show them" but realistically show says absolutely nothing about the goats ability to be a productive animal, it speaks only to its physique. Which matters to me but not enough for that to be the only point. There are only so many "show goats" that sell in a specific time period, so from a sales perspective that doesn't make sense. Leaving ego as the other primary reason to show. I can understand that reason because ego is what drives me to start with something basic and make it very improved. But showing any livestock a lot means a program suffers because you are not there.
And the one thing that would not happen with me is that the program suffer because that was the point - make a good goat.
What would make me leave the program?
An opportunity I can't refuse. An opportunity to do what I do in a goat program only much much bigger.
I am going to take a job with a program bigger than mine ever could be, a program with more capital - with more ability to invest in the future, more staff, more animals, higher inherent values. I will still be evaluating animals, selecting animals, collecting data on animals, pairing animals, utilizing knowledge of different bloodlines, and utilizing software I wrote for the breeding process. I love genetics, analysis, data, and utilizing every modern tool to control inputs for expected output.
There is a NDA so I can't talk about details other than to say it is very comfortable salary, it is the opportunity to work toward a very specific goal that I believe can be achieved in the timeline set down, and the side benefits are great.
I had to sort out would I miss the program or miss the goats? I will be on a ranch that is not mine with no goat sounds to hear in the morning. I will not have the joy of kidding or the fact that goats make me laugh more than any single thing on the planet. I will miss seeing babies bounce across the run, I will miss watching a new mother tend to her babies with great care and be reminded that there are still these simple joys in the world. At first I panicked and thought "What if I hate life without them? What if I feel like there's a great big hole where they should be in my world? Heck, what if I am miserable without silly little baby goats bouncing around?"
So my first reaction on the opportunity presenting itself was "NO!"
But over a few days logic set in. The money is great. The actual work is great. The chance to start here and end there (much improved), is the thing I live for. As I deliberated, I realized these chances don't line up all the time; that the reason cattle programs can invest seriously in their programs is because there were so many herd dispersals the past 3-4 years, which pushed prices up (economics 101 supply and demand), so now there is very good income to invest into the great move forward each human generation tries to make in a multi generation ranch...all of that lined up now. This opportunity is now.
Its not 2 or 5 or 10 years from now - its this minute.
The choice is: move off my ranch to seize this opportunity or make an emotional decision that likely will leave me bragging about a chance I had but didn't take, a salary I could have had but didn't accept, and quite likely a future 40 years out in my 80s wondering what would have happened if I just walked through that open door.
So I did what most smart people who are long term thinkers would do: I accepted.
I will still be pairing, selecting, and seeing the results...only much much bigger. Their victory will be my victory too. That is exciting to me.
Back to Goat Program in this: I will not be home all that much, while my scheduled off time is great and is more personal time than I've had in decades, its not on an established schedule yet, so there is no breeding and kidding and all of the stuff that makes a goat program.
Also, my contract is 3 years. So taking a year off and sitting my goats to come back to, is a bit of a waste. It would also eat into the income increase to continue to pay staff to work goats the hours that we work here.
I had to choose my program or someone else's program.
And then I had to unchoose all the programs I currently consult. That has been one of the harder things in this. I have disappointed people (which I hate), made them angry, and some of them feel like I'm abandoning them.
But really I'm hitting the "Pause Button".
That will resume, when I'm done with this contract.
Likely, I will be even better at what I do 3 years from now. I will never stop learning, my retention level for data is extremely strong (which I am grateful for every day), there will be only a stronger, more skilled, me at the end of this. I do hope to retain some current clients, I care very much about their programs, and perhaps the ones reading this will understand: we don't have to be done, we have to hit pause.
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